1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
