Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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