This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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