what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
