So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
