We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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