i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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