I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
