I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
