So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
