i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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