who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it