it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
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the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least