you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?