Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize