Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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