This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
