There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house