You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.