take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped