I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
