it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
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Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
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I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
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