During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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