bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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