its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
FUCK WHALES
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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