heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
