i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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