Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party

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(440): View more from Ohio

Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.

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(628): View more from California

Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.

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(727): View more from Florida

Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.

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(626): View more from California

i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?

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(302): View more from Delaware

He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

This is what I get for listening to Christians.

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