Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan

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(845): View more from New York

Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.

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(540): View more from Virginia

You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..

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(206): View more from Washington

So. She dumped me today.

(425): View more from Washington

Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".

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(678): View more from Georgia

Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.

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(559): View more from California

Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.

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