There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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