brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
