So many bounce houses so little time
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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