so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
