We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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