I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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