K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
