If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize