Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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