Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
