32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
