How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
