cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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