no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
