this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
