coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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