This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
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Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
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Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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