He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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