I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
