There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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