Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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