i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.