i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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