i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize