VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize