weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
