I'm jealous of your bromance
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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