So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
