nutella sex= disaster
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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