mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So drunk its hurt
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize