love makes seman taste better
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize