Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
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If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
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When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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