I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
farters have to be the big spoon...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
