Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
