Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize