great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
