I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
